By Hope O’Rukevbe Eghagha
In life, the ideal is for us to choose our pathway to the future, even if blindly, but sometimes our paths are chosen for us or prepared for us or charted for us. Chosen for us by parents, mentors, friends, religious leaders, and political, cultural and social circumstances. Sometimes our path is imposed on us by guardians – both physical and spiritual. David the Shepherd boy in the Bible had no ambition to be king or kill Goliath! Joseph the dreamer did not choose the path to become Prime Minister of Egypt.
It is true that a path chosen for us by another person could stultify growth or limit the height one can attain. In Nigeria, JAMB and the vagaries of the system can impose a future career path on individuals! We have seen potential medical doctors who ended up as lab technicians.
When our path is chosen for us, it could be complex and challenging. Parental or familial pressure could become high, and we could be expected to conform with a particular lifestyle. If society chooses for us, cultural or community expectations can dictate one’s choices. Some people believe that destiny or fate could inform life choices, often beyond the control of the person who is making the choices. There is the bigger picture of arguing that our choices are predetermined and that no matter what we say, what will be will be.
Our personal preferences, sometimes, also play a role in what we become later in life. An early decision on career choice, for example, could point the needle in a particular direction. Some start off well and take a plunge before middle age. One of the prayers we make while making choices is: may we not make a choice that will ruin us. And so, parents pray for their children ‘not to travel when the road waits, famished!
Prayers! We often invest in prayers before choosing a path out of two or three choices. A prayer made to God requires an answer. For weighty decisions, some take to fasting and prayer and set themselves apart for a week or two, until they hear from God. How do we know the path which God has blessed after the period of waiting? While some look for signs, others claim that God has provided an answer in their heart. Some people believe in predestination. That, whatever we become is what we were destined to become. That indeed, there are no choices. That, when we believe we are making choices, we have been tailored from Heaven to make such a choice. But for me, if whatever we do or become is destined by Heaven, the world would be an unjust place!
To be sure, some choices appear easier to make than others. Some are more attractive in the short run. As a young person setting out in the world, it is believed that there is not enough information or experience to guide one. It is also important to state that when we make a choice about a course of study in the university, we are already charting a course for the future. Indeed, the path chosen starts taking shape when we decide on the choice of subjects in secondary school. A student who is inclined to the sciences should opt for the relevant subjects. It is also true that a student who is good at the arts could be compelled to take the science route because of parental influence.
Life choices are often made early though we may not appreciate their importance at the time the choice was made. How do we know that that decision to travel to the next town could have a life-long effect on our future? The decision to school in one place at the expense of another could frame the success or failure of the decision maker. The choice of a partner in marriage is also fundamental to life. A bad choice could upset the early phase of life. A good choice could guarantee stability, harmony, and success. A happy marriage is often the result of the choices which we make before and during the marriage.
The Path Not Chosen! For every path we take, there are other paths not taken. Some people take a path and make a success of it. It could be a career path, type of business, relocation or whatever. The choice we make has an impact on our future success or failure.
What informs the choices that we make in education, job-type, location of abode, religion, and marriage? Who guides our choices at the different stages of life? What is the role of God in our personal choices? Is fate a factor in the path that we take? When an apparently excellent choice ends in disaster, who do we hold responsible? In our environment, how powerful are the dark forces of nature in career path and success?
Nations, like individuals and institutions also choose a path. Democracy is all about choices. The ballot box ought to determine who becomes the winner of an election. But often the will of the people is subverted. In our clime, we have found governors imposed on the electorate by a tiny minority sitting as judges. We have also found figures altered to give a different result than what the people voted for. Also, wrong choices have long term effects on national growth. In 1979, as a nation, we rejected the pragmatic, energetic, and visionary in Chief Obafemi Awolowo and settled for the less ambitious and tame primary school teacher Alhaji Shehu Shagari to lead the country. Within five years, the military struck and sacked that government because of ineptitude. Who knows what would have become of Nigeria if Chief Awolowo had been given the chance to lead Nigeria for four years and repeat the miracle which he facilitated as Premier of the western Nigeria? No one knows. Only Heaven knows!
Wrong or imposed choices could lead to powerlessness, regret – wondering what could have been if one had a choice to make a choice. Wrong choices can also lead to stress, self-doubt, and misery. Conversely, it can also lead to happiness if all the other variables work in favour of the choice, and if there is the determination to beat all the odds and triumph. In all of this, determination to succeed and hard work are crucial.
Whatever choice we make, we must recognize the influence of external factors, identify our passions and personal values, embrace the journey even if the path was not chosen by us, develop self-awareness, develop resilience and adaptability in the journey. When individuals are compelled to bend to the will of a few, it kills the spirit of independence. Any individual who hopes to succeed in life must have a plan, detailed or vague and try to follow through. Often, divine providence steps in to help those who believe and who try to live life along the true path!
