By Francis Ewherido
King David was a man of means with many wives, and according to God, He would have allowed him to have more if he so wished. While the Israelites were at war, as Israel currently is, David was having a walk on the roof of his palace late one afternoon. Then his eyes caught a beautiful woman having her bath. Her name incidentally is BATHsheba, the only wife of Uriah the Hittite. David could have followed the example of Joseph the dreamer who fled from Potiphar’s wife, but lust and GREED got the better of him. He had Bathsheba summoned and had sex with her. This same secret affair that has put many of us in trouble created a series of unfortunate events for David:
Bathsheba got pregnant. It does not matter whether it is once, a quickie or 30 seconds. Once you get into the wrong “place,” things can go wrong. David summoned Uriah from the battlefield and played all kinds of tricks so that Uriah could go home and sleep with his wife. That way, it would be assumed that the child was his, but it did not work. David resolved he had no option but to get Uriah killed. Ironically Uriah was the one who conveyed the letter of his death sentence to Joab, Commander of the Army of Israel. After Uriah died, David’s GREED and continued lust made him marry Bathsheba after her the mourning period for Uriah ended, enlarging his harem.
The all-seeing and all-knowing God was enraged and did not hide it. He sent the Prophet Nathan to David to let him know of his GREED. He told him the parable of the poor man with only one ewe lamb and the rich man with a herd. When David heard the story, he pronounced a death sentence on the rich man. Nathan told him you are the one. David, realising the enormity of his deeds, prayed to God for forgiveness, which our God of mercy and compassion granted.
But there is forgiveness, there are also consequences of sin. We can’t escape the consequences of sin. In David’s case, the consequences were grave: His plea to God to spare the life of the child from the adulterous liaison fell on deaf ears. The child died. In addition, David’s son Ammon raped his half-sister, Tamar. Absalom, Tamar’s direct brother, was enraged and killed Ammon. Absalom also rebelled against his father and temporarily drove him away from the throne. He also slept with David’s wives before all Israel. David’s plea to his commander, Joab, to spare Absolom’s life fell on deaf ears. He had Absalom killed. Look at the chaos David’s indiscretion brought to his family. Why am I going into this long introduction?
There is a madness that has been going on, but two incidents happened recently in Bendel (Edo and Delta States) that really got me upset. In both cases, the late fathers willed properties to all their children. Being a patrilineal society, the sons got more than their sisters, but greed has consumed the sons. They want to take the little their father willed to their sisters. They want to go against their fathers’ wishes and disinherit their female siblings. These are the “children of David.” They are driven by greed and fuelled by very irritating extreme male chauvinism. It happens all over Nigeria and even Africa, but I want to restrict myself to Bendel because I am beginning my “charity” from home. Like the biblical “5000 men were fed besides women and children,” women are meant to be seen and tolerated, not recognised or counted. This is not about women’s liberation. I am only interested in equity, fairness and justice.
A man toils and accumulates wealth. With a sound and free mind, he shares his properties as he wishes. Then after his death, some people who are up to no good want to change his wishes. One of the excuses is that they did not know the content of the will. So what? Nor be im properties? Did you toil with him? Can’t a man do as he wishes with his wealth as long as he does not break the law. Don’t you remember the biblical parable of labourers in the vineyard (Matthew 20:1-16)?
The more annoying one is the second case. The man called his children together, except the daughters who were not available. He shared his property while one of the sons was writing the man’s wishes down. They all left seemingly happy. Now the man is dead, two of the sons want the father’s wishes to be set aside so that the properties can be redistributed with the eldest choosing first down to the youngest. But the main issue now is that they are dragging one of the properties the father bequeathed to the two daughters and youngest son.
To perpetuate their greed, these sons of David invite more chauvinistic family elders to “mediate” in the contrived disputes. When a goat is arraigned in a court where lions are the judges, the outcome is predictable. The female or/and younger siblings stand no chance.
Male siblings need to avoid mistakes of the past. Growing up, I saw some women answering Omotejohwo literally meaning a daughter is also a person, but that is too shallow, so let us look at the connotative meaning: Your daughter is as important as your sons. Your daughter might just be the one that will uplift your family. Your daughter can take your family name to the global stage. Dr Ngozi Okonjo Iweala is a good example.
The girl-child has come a long way, but she still has many bridges to cross. I have a friend, a very successful man. He has three daughters and that is all. Aliko Dangote has only daughters. There are many other successful and other men like them. They are contented with their daughters. They are precious gifts from God. Some men keep breeding until they get a male child. Number of children, 12. Only the 12th one is male. I am not criticising anyone. It is your choice. Just remember omotejohwo. Why don’t these male chauvinists marry their fellow men? Male chauvinists, omotejohwo! Omotejohwo!! Omotejohwo!!! Know this and know peace.
Finally, if you look at many strong families, they have many successful family members, males and females. No tree can make a forest. A hurricane easily blows away a single tree, but finds it more difficult where many trees are located in close proximity. You need not just many successful members but united families. The foundation of the unity is truth not falsehood. They are impregnable. Instead of pulling up your siblings, you want to subjugate them. If you don’t help build them up, in the days of trouble which are almost inevitable, you will have no family member of substance to stand by you. Working together, any family can become great. I know quite a number of them who were just normal people some decades ago. Today, they are monstrous. There are also great names we used to hear of. Today nobody hears about them anymore. Genuine family unity is good. Greed and selfishness destroy the family unit.
